- KMazur/Getty Images
- Demi Moore opened up about the aftermath of her miscarriage in her memoir “Inside Out.”
- She said Ashton Kutcher had a hard time connecting with her as she grieved because of his young age.
- The actress ended up blaming herself for the miscarriage.
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When she was 42, the “Ghost” star was expecting a child with Kutcher, but she lost the child about six months into the pregnancy.
After finding out that the baby, which the couple named Chaplin, no longer had a heartbeat, Moore felt “decimated.”
“I tried to allow myself to mourn, but it was so confusing. How could I grieve a person who’d never been in the world?” the actress wrote.
The “That ’70s Show” star couldn’t fully comprehend his then-girlfriend’s emotions in the aftermath, according to Moore.
- Stefanie Keenan / Getty
“Ashton did his best to connect with me in my grief. He tried to be there for me during the miscarriage, but he couldn’t really understand what I was feeling,” she said.
Moore believed Kutcher – who was 25 years old at the time – was unable to connect with her partly because of his youth.
“First of all, he hadn’t carried this baby. And second, he was in his twenties at the time: he wasn’t remotely late to the game of fatherhood. His possibilities were not running out, far from it. I was suddenly acutely aware that mine were,” the former soap opera star wrote.
Moore blamed herself for the miscarriage, believing that her drinking and smoking caused it to happen. “I was wracked with guilt and convinced what had happened was my doing,” she said.
The couple “still wanted to have a baby” and tried to conceive naturally for a few months, before trying intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization.
- Victor Boyko / Getty
While Moore wished to carry Kutcher’s child on her own as she had with her and Bruce Willis’ three daughters, Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah Willis, she eventually overcame her “resistance” to using an egg donor and began researching her options.
After finding a “perfect match,” Kutcher told her they should “go for it.” The pair started filling out the paperwork, but less than a week later, the “No Strings Attached” star got cold feet.
“Ashton told me, ‘I don’t think I can do this, and I don’t know if this is working,'” she wrote.
When she asked him why he let her go through the process of researching and finding a donor, she said he told her, “I never thought you’d go through with it.”
After the memoir was released on Tuesday, Kutcher took to Twitter where he seemingly responded to being mentioned in his ex’s book.
I was about to push the button on a really snarky tweet. Then I saw my son, daughter, and wife and I deleted it. ❤️
— ashton kutcher (@aplusk) September 25, 2019
“I was about to push the button on a really snarky tweet. Then I saw my son, daughter, and wife and I deleted it,” he wrote.
Kutcher and Moore got married in September of 2005. They separated in November 2011 and finalized their divorce two years later. Kutcher went on to marry his “That ’70s Show” costar Mila Kunis. They share two children together.
Representatives for Kutcher didn’t immediately respond to Insider’s request for comment.