- “Full Frontal”/TBS
With Ted Cruz and John Kasich leaving the Republican presidential race and making Donald Trump the presumptive GOP candidate, Samantha Bee has to say farewell to two of her favorite sources for comedy.
Bee isn’t the only one who was sad to see them go, as four of the last five GOP presidential nominees have said they won’t be attending the Democratic convention (George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, John McCain, and Mitt Romney).
“The Republican leadership welcomed this little gift from Indiana voters the same way we welcome a love present from our cat,” she joked on her show “Full Frontal” Monday night.
And as for McCain’s refusal to attend, Bee saw an instant connection to his former running mate, Sarah Palin.
“Oh my, your Senate seat is being threatened by a crude, anti-intellectual, anger-stoking nativist? Ain’t karma a b—-.”
But she then turned her attention back to Cruz.
“To be fair, we were all blindsided by Ted Cruz suspending his campaign, no one more than me. I think you know what that man meant to ‘Full Frontal.'”
As a a running joke, the “Full Frontal” host has been referring to Cruz with some very creative nicknames, such as “Princeton’s unwanted fetus,” “the world’s only unlikable Canadian,” “revival tent Golum,” and many, many others.
Holding a big book titled “Cruz Thesaurus,” Bee bemoaned, “You guys, we were only on page three. Now, I’ll never get to ‘husky Romulan’ or ‘human Twilight Zone music.'”
- “Full Frontal”/TBS
Bee gave Cruz props, though, for fighting the good fight against Trump. Then she acknowledged Kasich’s run, which included a lot of press stops while eating at restaurants across the country.
“Sayonara, Johnny! I hope you enjoyed your eggs, since you won’t be controlling mine,” Bee said.
To cap off the segment, Bee dedicated a song to the former candidates.
“It’s hard to bid adieu to two gentleman who think a 13-year-old’s rape baby is a gift from Jesus. So we asked our friend, Michelle Branch, to help us out.
Watch the segment and Michelle Branch’s goodbye song below:
And here’s the full version of the song: