- Getty/Carl Cort
- Not every breakup is permanent but that doesn’t mean every couple should or will get back together.
- Taking a break from a relationship can sometimes be the best way to build a stronger union in the future.
- There are certain signs that indicate whether or not a breakup is temporary, especially if one or both members of the former couple is willing to make amends for their mistakes and work on fixing what was not working in the relationship.
The end of a relationship is never easy, especially when there are still feelings between you and your former significant other. But how can you tell if there’s a chance you might be able to or should try to rekindle things with your ex in the future? INSIDER spoke to therapist and relationship expert Rachel Sussman to find out.
“Often with a breakup at least one party holds on to hope that the split may be temporary. And that can be the case – or not,” Sussman told INSIDER. “A certain percent of couples do get back together. However the more serious the issues the harder it is to transcend and make a relationship work.”
The best way to know if you and your ex are in that percentage of couples who might try again to make a relationship work could be by having an open conversation about it. But if you’re not sure where your former relationship stands, here are some signs that your breakup could be only temporary.
You agreed that the split wasn’t permanent ahead of time
It can be nerve-wracking to take a break from your relationship, but according to Sussman, that break can actually contribute to your relationship’s future success, as long as you both agree on what it means ahead of time.
“The best indicator for a couple getting back together is both parties agreeing that the breakup is a temporary ‘reset’ while they both work on themselves – and they know what they have to work on,” Sussman said. “That couple should make some rules about communication, dating other people, and social media. That couple may have a good shot of getting back together.”
If the relationship’s issues are fixable, you both spent time apart fixing what was wrong with the relationship in the first place
Chances are if you’ve decided to go your separate ways, it was probably for a few reasons. If the relationship is going to work in the future and both individuals are committed to moving forward, you’ll both need to tackle the reasons for the breakup or separation.
“In order for the ‘new’ relationship to work out, it takes time apart and they both have to have worked out the issues that broke them up in the first place,” Sussman told INSIDER.
This is a good time to figure out if the problems in the relationship can be fixed and both parties are ready and willing to work on repairing them. If not, it might be time to let the relationship go.
You and your ex have made an effort to improve yourselves post-breakup
Sussman said that if your ex has reached out to say that “they are working on themselves and understand that your issues and past complaints were valid,” it could be a sign that things could work out the second time around, especially if you’ve noticed that your partner is making major changes in their life.
That being said, fixing an external factor in one’s personal life isn’t a surefire sign a relationship has been mended.
One or both of you has reached out to apologize
Many breakups happen because of a series of arguments in a relationship and oftentimes they might require an apology from one or both of you. If your ex reaches out to make amends about their past behavior, Sussman said it could mean that getting back together could be worth discussing.
Although seeking forgiveness and making amends is a great start, an apology doesn’t always mean someone wants to get back into a relationship, just as giving forgiveness doesn’t always mean the relationship will be renewed. Every relationship is different and you’ll want to consider many factors before giving the relationship another shot post-apology.