- Instagram @wellness_ted
It’s no secret that creating a perfect-looking Instagram feed takes work – and usually more than one person.
Some women have trained their husbands and boyfriends into acting like personal photographers. A Facebook page called “Boyfriends of Instagram” exposes the truth – and the men – behind many perfectly-styled photos.
Men’s Health journalist Edward Lane told Mashable he has spent the last 18 months behind the camera as “Chief Photographer or Despondent Instagram Husband” for his girlfriend Amy Hopkinson, an editor at Women’s Health and an ambassador for lululemon known on Instagram as @wellness_ed.
He said that before their relationship, he had seen social media as “a place to tag friends so they could watch a funny video of a dog riding a unicycle.”
“All of a sudden I was having to stand on the sofa behind her to get a good angle of some porridge unsanitarily close to her feet, or awkwardly skulk behind her to avoid being caught on her morning story. I thought the whole thing was insane,” he said.
He said he saw “too many opportunities for ridicule to pass up,” and set up a parody account – @wellness_ted.
WHO WORE IT BETTER? // Best of luck to my ultimate abs-piration @wellness_ed at today's @lululemonuk #sweatlife festival. She may need to work on the shading in of her six-pack, and she definitely envies my leggy blonde pins, but she's gonna knock her #wellnessmindset talk about the park today in front of 300 people (literally ????????????). You're a fucking legend, gonna be super proud, blah blah blah more lovey bollocks not suitable for public consumption. . And yes, I will be there. And yes I will be wearing my abs. Obvs.
His Instagram bio states: “Wellness Ted Preaching wellness one self-important #wellfie at a time Unqualified PT ???? Knowledge-free Nutritionist ???????? Public Figure ???????? London, UK ????????”
He has gained 11,500 followers since opening the account in April.
On Tuesday, he posted: “Some of you may have noticed my perfectly contoured face pop up across the World Wide Web yesterday. It seems the penny has dropped and the importance of a nugget-based diet, beer-filled hydration plan and health enhancing facts backed up by rigorous research from Sesh University is finally getting the international acclaim it deserves.”
"Fame for me is not external, it's internal. So I've been famous for a long time" – @ladygaga. . . Some of you may have noticed my perfectly contoured face pop up across the World Wide Web yesterday. It seems the penny has dropped and the importance of a nugget-based diet, beer-filled hydration plan and health enhancing facts backed up by rigorous research from Sesh University is finally getting the international acclaim it deserves. . . And that's what's coming. The fame won't change my mission. I'm the same today as I was yesterday. So to my new followers/family welcome. And to my day-ones, thank you – I couldn't have done it without you. I hope I can call on all your support as I try and change the #wellness world one aspirational abs shot at a time. Feeling #hashtagblessed today! . . Now to celebrate with my favourite balanced breakfast combo????????
Here, he enjoys some “spiralised potato” – or cury fries…
CURLS FOR THE GIRLS // For a post-run refuel there's nothing better than spiralised potato, baked with a pinch of southern spices to keep my metabolism firing and make the most of my EPOC (that's excess post-exercise oxygen consumption for the fitness nerds out there – it means you're burning calories long after you've stopped exercising #droppingknowledge????). People think spiralised food was pioneered by the clean eating gang – but they've been in the @tescofood freezer section for years. If you need carbs fast – and remember, timing your carbs for around your workout is the best way to recover faster – swapping courgetti for curly fries may just be the smartest nutritional you've ever made.
…Brags about his “brunch goals”…
BRUNCH GOALS // Today I've traded in dated avo toast for what many are tipping to be the biggest brunch trend of next year. Minced pork shoulder, with a crack of black pepper and lightly charred, served with golden potato lattices, simply baked for 12 minutes. Dressed with either a red artisan ketchup filled with cancer-preventing lycopene or a delightfully tangy brown jus know for its potent metabolism-boosting potential. Whichever you choose, this meal is guaranteed to fuel some serious Sunday-Funday activities!
…And meal preps for the week ahead.
His meditation in the park comes complete with a Bud Light and cigarettes…
OM A MISSION // Since joining the upper echelons of Instagram's wellness influencer community I'd been finding it progressively harder to practice what I preach. A full diary of protein launches, avocado brunches, selfies, workout classes, selfies, gym openings, yoga retreats and selfies had a dramatic effect on my anxiety levels. And despite my online persona, I was struggling for headspace. Which is why I've started meditating. It's a brand new trend. Everyone's talking about it. Sure, some nerds will tell you it's been around for 3500 years, but what do they know? Right now it's one of the hottest wellness trends and I really doubt the yogis of ancient India had iPhone apps (duh) so they clearly weren't doing it right, anyway! Since checking in with myself for 5 minutes a day my cortisol levels have plummeted and I'm feeling more zen than ever. My advice? Focus on you. Make time for self-love (Gross. Not like that. Perv) because at the end of the day wellness and the route to happiness is about putting yourself ahead of all others. Worried this will come across as selfish? Put a good filter on your pic and people will call it inspiring ????
…And he’s a proponent of “hot dog yoga.”
DOWNWARD DOGGING // New trend alert! Hotdog Yoga. It's like hot yoga, but the main sweats you'll get are of the meat variety. And, clean eaters, don't worry about these dirty dogs – the metabolism boost you get from a strong flow is more than enough to make this post-class nutrition calorie neutral. Why not try it this weekend? Happy dogging everyone!
The account is an effort to “take the piss out of a lot of people who present themselves as holier-than-thou health crusaders, but who are actually using it as a free ticket to some south west London luxury lifestyle,” he told Mashable.
Here, he completes a pre-bank holiday “endurance workout.”
PARTY TIME // Back on the #PRI balloon for a pre-bank holiday endurance boost. This technique helps to realign your posture, bring your ribs down and therefore give your lungs more room to breathe – increasing your stamina. Normally used for 10K preparation – I'm deploying it to power me through three days of beer at the seaside. Just when you think it's all too much and your world is spinning – this technique gives you room for another pint (and probably a Mr Whippy). The laughing gas helps, too… It is the weekend, after all
“They truly believe that they’re on the front line, getting their hands dirty, while also swanning about in £500 ($649) worth of free activewear on glamorous fitness retreats paid for simply by tagging the resort into an Instagram post,” he added.
DAT ???? LYF // I've very excited to announce the upcoming release of my 4-week #bootyplan and #gluteguide. Through a combination of squats and twerking – from here on out known asTHE SQWERKIN' IT METHOD (patent pending) you too can get a butt this good. Tag in the comments the person you think would most love this #strongnotskinny plan just in time for summer! ??????????
He also pokes fun at the cookbooks that are made popular by “Instagram influencers.” This post reads: “I’m incredibly proud to share with you the cover of my first book, “Just Add Cheese.” I’m predicting, and putting my name behind, the fact that this wrongly-vilified superfood is set for a comeback.”
I'm incredibly proud to share with you the cover of my first book, "Just Add Cheese." I'm predicting, and putting my name behind, the fact that this wrongly-vilified superfood is set for a comeback. Packed with protein, gut-friendly probiotics and enough calcium to fire up your metabolism you'd have to be mad (or vegan (lol jk, that's fucking madness, too)) to cut it from your diet. Sure it might make you fart. But farts are funny. And I think everyone can agree that we all need more fun in our lives. Look out, the cheesy chips with curry sauce and turkey dinosaurs are ????. #????
He even hosted a parody wellness summit. “Massive thank you to everyone that came down and supported my #wellnessmindf*** talk with @clean_eating_bob and @deliciouslysam at the @hbloggerscom #HBCsummit today,” his post read. “So great to be surrounded by so many inspirational people and share our thoughts on the world on #wellness with you!”
All jokes aside, he believes some fitness influencers could be doing more harm than good.
“There’s been enough research into social media to reveal that there are a lot of vulnerable people out there looking for direction, and the problem is that the boring science of a top-end nutritionist or trainer just isn’t as sexy or appealing as the pretty girl subsisting on brunch and HIIT workouts,” he told Mashable.
Here, he expresses his belief in having fun and enjoying yourself with a post titled “Abs are made at the weekend.”
ABS ARE MADE AT THE WEEKEND // This past few days I've been enjoying what I like to call the FUN diet. Seaside trips with my muse @wellness_ed, a blood alcohol level of 69%, finishing off with a gluten-free steak dinner yesterday. All of this has combined to turn my abs from a standard six to an unbelievable eight. Sounds too good to be true, right? Wrong! A study by the University of Nowhere in Nowhereshire found that being happy reduces your levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and cortisol is responsible for fat depositing around your middle and covering your six-pack. So use this news and my rockin' bod above as motivation to have more fun this week and look better by then end of it. Omg that message is so wellness – I've even I impressed myself! Have a great Bank Holiday everyone! ????
“A study by the University of Nowhere in Nowhereshire found that being happy reduces your levels of the stress hormone cortisol, and cortisol is responsible for fat depositing around your middle and covering your six-pack,” the post reads.