Let’s say you are the Sith Lord Darth Vader, when your employer, the evil Emperor, decides he doesn’t need your services anymore and lays you off. Maybe he appoints another Sith, and for reasons known only to his own black heart, doesn’t dispense with you in his typical way by ending your life.
You’ll find yourself suddenly jobless, but with a lot of specialized skills that are surely valuable to some other incarnation of evil being.
One catch: You’ll need a résumé. And given your previous work history, a boring, old-school résumé won’t do. You’d need something snazzy. Something that can capture your skill, your personality, and the eye of a new nefarious lord you can serve.
The folks at résumé-writing startup Enhancv came up with this résumé of Darth Vader for just such an occasion. Enhancv offers an online service that automatically critiques your résumé with suggestions to improve it.
Darth Vader’s résumé is an example of the kind of modern résumé anyone can use, even if the job seeker is looking for a role that serves humanity and doesn’t destroy it.
For instance, the “what-I-accomplished-at-my-last-job” phrasing of Vader’s résumé can be copied by anyone. As supreme commander, Vader “Oversaw the construction of the two biggest weapons of our time – the Death Stars.”
But there are also plenty of tongue-in-cheek items that you probably wouldn’t want to showcase in your own résumé. For instance, as a senior dark lord of the Sith, Vader “Dealt with a boss who refused to grant parental leave.”
While that was certainly a hardship for Vader, it probably isn’t wise to bad-mouth your old boss on your résumé. That goes doubly so if your old boss is the source of all evil.
Here’s the full résumé: