- There doesn’t seem to be much chance of cheating disappearing.
- Thousands of people still sign up to infidelity dating site Ashley Madison every day.
- Here’s everything new we learned about cheating in 2018.
- Hopefully some of the information can help you recognise suspicious behaviour earlier.
Nobody wants to feel the pain and humiliation of being cheated on. But the sad reality is some people just can’t help themselves, and the infidelity dating site Ashley Madison still gets thousands of new sign ups a day.
So, chances are you’ll probably have to deal with the temptation of straying, or face the aftermath of being cheated on.
INSIDER has compiled a list of all the new information about cheating we’ve written about this year, including what people count as cheating and the most likely time of year it could happen to you.
Here’s 11 things you should know.
1. Only half of men think kissing someone else counts as cheating
- Henri Meilhac/Unsplash
In November, the BBC conducted a survey that found half of young men don’t consider kissing someone else to be cheating, compared to 73% of women who think it is. The same survey found that 91% of people would consider sleeping with someone other than their partner as cheating, so that’s something.
2. People have different lines for what they consider cheating
- Sunti / Shutterstock
Users of Ashley Madison took part in a survey this year which found that 13% of people think fantasising about someone else counts as cheating, and 16% thought it was unfaithful to communicate with your ex. Others had a higher bar, with 29% thinking maintaining an online dating profile was cheating, and 46% saying it was infidelity to send naked pictures to someone else. Read the full results here.
3. More people cheat during the holidays than any other time of year
- Universal Pictures
Data from IllicitEncounters found that Christmas is the most popular time of year for cheating. In a survey of 1,000 users, 57% said they cheated with a coworker at the office holiday party, while 85% said they experienced more feelings of passion and excitement during the holidays, which led to them cheating.
4. Two thirds of cheaters do it at a Christmas party
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An Ashley Madison survey showed similar results, that 66% of cheaters consider taking advantage of holiday parties. About 68% said they are tempted because their spouse isn’t there, while 69% said working with a colleague all day creates the attraction. Out of those who had a workplace affair, 61% were caught.
5. Men are most likely to sign up to cheating websites in October
October is right in the middle of “cuffing season,” which may be one reason why it is the peak month for men to sign up to affairs site Ashley Madison. During the cold winter months, men may be looking for more companionship. It could also be because it’s easier to sneak around in the dark.
6. How your partner behaves with your parents could be a sign they’re cheating
One surprising sign your partner is cheating, according to affairs site Ashley Madison, is how they treat their in-laws (your parents). A survey of 1,400 members found that 61% aren’t close with their in-laws. Nearly half (44%) said they only see them once a year or less, and 85% said they didn’t care what their in-laws thought of them. In other words, if your partner is detached from your parents, or has no interest in impressing them, they might be more likely to stray.
7. There are two main types of cheating
According to sex therapist Tammy Nelson, there are two main types of affairs: those where people want to leave their primary relationship and those where they don’t. People in the first category engage in what Nelson calls “can-opener” affairs, which is when you have an affair because you want out, you just don’t know how to end it. The other type is a way of fulfilling your needs if your marriage isn’t living up to expectations.
8. Friday nights are popular for cheating activities
A survey by IllicitEncounters surveyed 1,000 of its users and found that the prime time for cheating is Friday at 6:45 PM. Tuesday evenings were the second most popular. 64% of respondents also said they stick to a strict cheating schedule in an attempt to keep their meet-ups discreet.
9. Women start affairs because they can be more honest with their cheating partner
Data from Ashley Madison suggests one major reason people cheat is because they feel they can be more honest with their cheating partner. Women said the ability to be honest with their cheating partner was the top reason they found cheating “easy,” while men said it was because they had so many options.
10. Americans are more loyal to their political party than their spouses
An Ashley Madison survey from November found that Republicans are the most popular group on the platform, with 49% of members associating with this party. About three quarters of Republican cheaters say they prefer to have affairs with fellow “reds,” while 54% of females are Democrats and prefer left-leaning affair partners. The group most willing to cross the aisle for an affair are young Democrats – 44% would rather have an affair with a Republican.
11. People may cheat because they’re naturally polyamorous
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A female user of Ashley Madison told INSIDER she feels she isn’t “naturally monogamous,” but her husband isn’t interested in a polyamorous lifestyle. By using the site, she has met up with at least 15 different men, while her husband is unaware.