- A Reddit thread called “Is it unreasonable rejecting an old engagement ring?” is going viral.
- In the post, a woman explains that her boyfriend wants to propose to her with a ring he previously designed for his ex-girlfriend.
- Relationship experts April Masini and Susan Winter think she is in the right for wanting a new ring instead of one meant for a previous relationship.
- Visit INSIDER.com for more stories.
A recent Reddit thread about a woman’s boyfriend wanting to propose using an old engagement ring that was originally meant for an ex-girlfriend is going viral.
In the post from Thursday titled “Is it unreasonable rejecting an old engagement ring?” Reddit user thatgirlwithqns explains that her boyfriend asked if she would accept an engagement ring he previously designed for his ex-girlfriend. She wrote that he spent thousands of dollars customizing the ring overseas, and now he would only get a few hundred dollars back if he sold it instead.
She writes in the post that she does see the practicality of reusing the ring, but she’s also not fully on board with wearing a ring meant for a previous relationship.
“Something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind,” she wrote. “He assured me that she never wore it, but I just don’t want something that wasn’t made for me.”
When she asked Reddit users “Am I being unreasonable?” almost everyone seemed to agree that she was in the right.
Some suggested that the couple repurpose the ring by having the diamond reset, while others thought simply selling the ring was the best option.
According to relationship expert April Masini, the original Reddit poster is not in the wrong for wanting a new ring
“This guy needs to get his priorities straight,” Masini told INSIDER. “If he wants someone to say yes to a proposal to spend the rest of her life with him, why not start out with grace and generosity? In other words … get a new ring!”
Masini thinks the woman in the post should “trust her instincts” when it comes to how to handle the situation.
“That she is bothered by this incident is valid. She should be,” she said. “This guy has lots of options to make his new fiancée feel special, and he’s taken none of them.”
One of the options she suggests is selling the ring and putting the proceeds towards a new one, though she advises against repurposing the diamond.
“If this was an heirloom that had been in the family for decades or generations, repurposing it would be a nice idea, but this is the ring he bought for another woman, five years ago!” Masini said. “Repurposing this ring or this stone, or any part of it, is tacky.”
Relationship expert Susan Winter agrees that the woman is in the right to want a new ring
“She wants her relationship to reflect what she has with her partner, not what he had with his ex,” Winter told INSIDER. “It’s bad energy to repurpose a ring made for another woman.”
Winter says she could understand if the ring was an heirloom passed down through his family, but she feels this an entirely different case.
“This is the case of a man being cheap,” Winter said. “His desire to salvage his investment seems to be more important than honoring his fiancée’s feelings. It has nothing to do with frugality or practicality. He’s placing the carcass of a dead relationship unto a new and vibrant one.”
- Hrytsiv Oleksandr/Shutterstock
As for how the woman in the post should handle the situation, Winter feels being upfront with her feelings is the best route.
“The fiancée has been clear that she doesn’t need anything extravagant,” Winter told us. “She has one desire; to have something that is hers. This is a completely reasonable request.”
Reddit user thatgirlwithqns did not immediately respond to INSIDER’s request for comment.